Earlier today, some things were said to me that left me driving home with a very heavy heart.
I had some uplifting music on and my windows rolled down in hopes that it would heal my soul.
But no relief came.
I'm an emotional eater and rather than taking care of myself tonight, I grabbed some food on the way home and started to stuff my face with unhealthiness.
My bitterness grew stronger.
My heart became even heavier.
I decided to turn off the movie I had started watching and began to browse YouTube. I came across a beautiful version of "Hallelujah," which is one of my favorite songs.
It was an instrumental version, done by piano and a violin. I then proceed to listen to other artists sing this song and came across the Canadian Tenors and Celine Dion's version.
As I was listening to not only the lyrics, but the harmony in the song, I started to feel my heart fall apart.
Tears filled my eyes and I knew what I needed in that moment.
I was then reminded of scripture I've study more than once in the last several months.
"Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth." -Colossians 3:2
I remembered a song by Across The Sky called "Broken World."
We live in a broken world where promises are shattered, answers don't come when we want or need them...
Sometimes plans come undone, dreams get crushed, and lies get told...
Words can turn cruel and hearts can grow cold...
But through it all, Jesus is our strength and our refuge.
If we choose too, we will hold onto Him through this trying times.
As I was studying this particular scripture and remembering the powerful lyrics to this song, I started to feel my heart slowly piece itself back together.
How we set our minds, will determine the outcome of our thoughts and emotions....Will give our words and actions power.
Tonight, I was allowing my thoughts and emotions to dwell on the negativity from my earlier conversation.
I kept getting this vision in my head of how I should be on my knees right now, begging God to help me and change what was on my heart.
I chose not to for a while.
In this scripture, Paul encourages us to set our minds on things above, which in turn gives us joy, hope, patience, and kindness.
All positive thoughts.
Our journey in faith often times is the battle of the mind. We typically allow the matters of life control our minds.
I wanted to let myself curl up in a ball, go to my dark place, and let this awful food cure this pain within me.
But before I allowed myself to get too far, I looked up.
I chose to ask God to guide me to the light, to give me hope and strength through this time in my life.
To forgive those who are judging me in this moment.
I want to enjoy God's grace and peace, even when my heart is heavy.
I did not bear the cross that Christ did, nor will I ever feel the pain and agony that He did.
We are not guaranteed a perfect life. We will face many hardships.
As this holy week approaches and one of the most wonderful days of celebrations draws near, we must remember that Christ died for our sins, but rose again on the third day and sits at the right Hand of Our Father. Because of this...we are reminded of His promise to us of a beautiful life with Him, even if our life here on earth is tough.
I choose Him.
I will fight to remain positive and flee from negativity.
God is truly amazing and is blessing me with all of this.
What do you choose?
"Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect." -Romans 12:2
