The Mystery of Life....

"I tell you, you will weep and mourn, but the world will rejoice; you will have pain, but your pain will turn to joy.  When a woman is in labor, she has pain, because her hour has come.  But when her child is born, she no longer remembers the anguish because of the joy of having brought a human being into the world.  So you have pain now, but I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you." - John 16:20-22

Suffering.

It's a complete mystery.

Unfortunately, it's an inevitable part of life and often times have little to no control over it.

It's how we respond that makes the difference.

I've been experience severe back pain, among other pain as well.  I've been pretty miserable all weekend, but tried to see the positive throughout the weekend.

For example, the sun finally was shining on Saturday and it was 60 degrees here in Indiana!

That rarely happens in January!

Positive!!

I've been reading a book called "Rediscover Jesus" and the chapter I came across tonight was "Making Sense of Suffering."

The world views suffering as worthless.  In the Old Testament, suffering was viewed as a consequence of sin.  However, in the New Testament, through His words and actions, Jesus exclaims that suffering has VALUE.

Suffering is a tool in this life that can transform us into loving people.

Many of us have heard the term, "Offer it up!"

I used to hate hearing those 3 words.  But after reading this chapter tonight and reflecting on a few verses from Scriptures, offering it up has a whole new meaning to me.

Scripture encourages us to offer everything that happens in our day in prayer to God.

Joys and suffering.

In doing so, suffering becomes a very powerful prayer and eventually that prayer will fill us with a deep peace within ourselves.

"If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their crosses daily and follow me." - Luke 9:23

Each day, we are given a cross to bear.  There are times it can be the same cross for a long period of time.  Other times, it can be a different cross to bear each day.

What we choose to do with that cross makes a difference.

By choosing to accept that cross to bear and carrying it, we are turning our worthless suffering into value.  

The best part is, Christ wants to help us carry our cross.  We are NEVER alone!

With that in my heart tonight, it's amazing the peace I feel even though my back still hurts.

But I've chosen to bear this suffering and carry my cross, knowing that through Christ,  I will find strength to do so.

Suffering will lead us to grow in our faith.

Are you ready to turn suffering from worthless to value?

What cross are you having to bear right now?

Do you accept it?

Are you going to carry it, knowing Christ will help you?

"We rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope." - Romans 5:3-4

Purity of Heart

"A woman's heart should be so lost in God that a man needs to seek Him in order to find her."
-Maya Angelou

How amazing is this quote?!

I've had this quote in my heart for at least 15 years of my life, but never once have I actually followed it.

I've always wanted a healthy, happy, and successful relationship, but what I failed to realize was I couldn't give others what I didn't have yet.

My heart was not completely lost in God.

In doing so, I have failed a lot of things in my life, especially relationships.

I don't regret any of those relationships though, because each one taught me how important this quote by Maya Angelou is. 

I've always walked away stronger and knowing I hadn't found my Knight in Shining Armor yet.

I'm not talking about a tall, dark, and handsome worldly guy.

I hadn't found my true Knight in Shining Armor.

The one who loves unconditionally. 

The one who forgives always.

My Knight in Shining Armor has never once left my side.

God.
That's my Knight in Shining Armor.



I want my relationship with God to be so strong, that no matter what comes my way in life, I know His love, mercy and grace will carry me through.

My relationship and trust in Him will bring me strength and courage.

I want to be in love with Christ.

Our journey in faith can be difficult in a world full of brokenness.  A world that encourages such sinful behavior.  But that's what makes the journey worth it.

Think of St Paul's journey to find faith.  It's starts in Acts 9. 

Paul's conversion is truly amazing and I feel like all of us sinners can relate to.  He was what Christian's called, "the worst enemy" as he persecuted those who were followers of Jesus.  The name given to him at the time was Saul.  During his journey to the city of Damascus, Saul and his men where surrounded by a light so intense, that it blinded Saul.  God asked him why he was persecuting Him.  Saul asked who the Lord was and He replied that he was Jesus and asked him to go into the city and he will know what to do.  He found his faith through this journey and finally decided to be a follower of Christ, and use his Roman name, Paul.

(Cliff notes version btw!)

My therapist a couple weeks ago paid me any amazing compliment.  He told me I remind him of Ruth.

Ruth is an example of how God can change a life and take it in a direction He has always had planned.  Once Ruth met God, she became a living testimonial to Him by faith.

Even though my therapist had told me this, I still didn't quite believe it.  Only because I want to have that deep, personal relationship with God as she did.

She didn't need a man to make her happy.  She had the one man who would always make her happy....her Knight in Shining Armor.  

In doing so, God rewarded her faithfulness and brought Boaz into her life.  But Boaz had to find God as well, in order to get to Ruth's heart.

I'm ready to take these next 6 months and develop this amazing relationship with God.  I want to be faithful to Him and Him alone.  

I want to become so strong in my faith in Him.

I want to love Him, just as He loves me.

I want to experience God's love on a much deeper level than I ever have before.

Be able to say no to people because I love God more.

Stand firm in my faith, just as Ruth did.

I just need to plant that seed and keep it nurtured in order for it to bloom into something I've never experienced before in my life.

I'm ready to be so lost in God.

Are you?

The Soul of the Gospel

"For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." -Matthew 6:14-15

As Catholics, there is one prayer we say every time we go to mass.

It's specifically talks about forgiveness.

Growing up, I never put much thought into it, because the mass is very repetitive.  But if we take the time to truly understand each prayer being said and allow it to heal our hearts and souls, it becomes more than just repetitive.

"So he left them and went away once more and prayed the third time, saying that same thing." -Matthew 26:44

Jesus would pray the same prayer more than once.  If He is repetitive in His prayers, then us as Christians should never feel that prayer is just repetitive.  The more we say it, the deeper it becomes engraved in our hearts, and then it begins to heal to us.  It begins to help us see who Christ really is.

Once we see Christ, we are able to open our hearts to Him and let him into our every day lives.

Forgiveness.

"Our Father who art in Heaven,

Hallowed be thy name;

thy kingdom come;

thy will be done

on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread;

and forgive us our trespasses,

as we forgive those who trespass against us;

and lead us no into temptation,

but deliver us from evil.

Amen."

This is not just a prayer we say in mass, it is found in the Bible too.

Matthew 9:6-15

God wants us to forgive.  Without forgiveness, our souls begin to fill with anger, resentment, frustration, and anxiety.

When we choose not to forgive, we are turning our backs to God.

There is no peace without forgiveness.

I've struggled  with this for years, and I will always admit that.  I've been incredibly angry with someone who did me wrong.

Someone I should have always been able to trust.

About 7 years ago, I thought I had forgiven this person.

And I had.

But I didn't continue to forgive this person.  I didn't pray for this person every single day.

So that frustration and anger started to build back up.

I became so angry with this person that I lost who I was.

I lost who I was and started to become a horrible version of myself.

I forgot how to love myself as God has loved me.

I was reading a book this morning about rediscovering Jesus.

One chapter in this book talked specifically about forgiveness.

I immediately thought of this person who I was so angry with and remembered that I haven't been praying for this person, asking God to forgive them for the wrong they have not only done to me, but to others.

As I'm learning to rediscover Jesus again, which truth be told, no one should ever stop!

But as I continue to, I need to remember that no matter how many times I've been done wrong, I must always forgive.

By praying for those who have done me wrong.

Whether it be someone who cuts me off while driving.

Or someone who says horrible things about me behind my back.

Every single day, we can be caught up in resentment towards anyone who causes us hurt or frustration.

But in those moments, we must remember to pray those wounded souls.

Pray that during their times of darkness, that they find the light.

That they find the truth in Christ.

In doing so, we are not only learning to truly forgive, we are letting go of all the negative feelings and emotions that are deep within our hearts.

We are learning to love ourselves again.

In turn, we learn to love those around us, no matter how they've treated us.

It doesn't mean we have to forget what they've done, but it helps us learn that we are all sinners in this fallen world.

Those who are struggling are the ones who need forgiveness the most.

That's why we must pray for them every single time we feel that anger towards them.

We can't let our hearts grow cold.

We have to keep it burning with passion for Christ.

"As God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience." - Colossians 3:12

Let go of the bitterness.

Pray for those people in most need of forgiveness.

To the person who has done me wrong....

I forgive you.

I pray for you.

I love you.

God loves you too.

Heavenly Father, I pray today that you help this person see their weakness.  Help them see that they need you and need your forgiveness.  Yes, they have done me wrong.  Please help me grow to love them unconditionally, as you love us.  Thank you for your forgiveness.  Thank you for your love.  I pray that this person feels your love and understands they need you.  Help me let go of all the bitterness towards them.  Amen.

I will end this blog on an even more powerful prayer that if said every day, it will change your life.  I know it has started to change mine.

Father Rookey, a healing priest who I believe with all my heart healed my sister, believes that if you say this prayer faithfully, no matter how you feel, and you get to a point where if you sincerely mean each word with all your heart, Jesus will change your whole life in a special way.

"Lord Jesus, I come before You, just as I am, I am sorry for my sins, I repent of my sins, please forgive me. In Your Name, I forgive all others for what they have done against me. I renounce Satan, the evil spirits and all their works. I give You my entire self, Lord Jesus, I accept You as my Lord God and Savior. Heal me, change me, strengthen me in body, soul, and spirit.

Come Lord Jesus, cover me with Your Precious Blood, and fill me with Your Holy Spirit, I love You Lord Jesus, I praise You Lord Jesus, I thank You Jesus, I shall follow You every day of my life. Amen."

Forgiveness.

Light your World.

Greatest Gift of All

"For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on His shoulders.  And He will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace."

-Isaiah 9:6

During the Christmas Eve Mass last night, the priest had all of the children gather up front.  As I watched them run up to the front of church, I was overwhelmed by the pure innocence of each child.

Once all the children made their way to the front and sat down, the priest asked,

"What present do we want the most at Christmas?"

Majority of the children yelled out,

"Baby Jesus!"

He then had three huge presents that he let the children open one at a time.  One box full of socks, another box full of jump start cables, and the last one full of candy.

The socks represented that Jesus is essential to our every day life.

The jump start cables represented how we seek Jesus in times of need.

The candy represented how we want and crave Jesus and need to share His truth with everyone around us.

I know He is essential in my every day life.

His grace and mercy heals my heart and soul every day.

He brings me more joy than anyone could ever bring to my life.

When I thank Him for all the good in my life every day, I find myself shining my own light of His truth through my actions and words.

I find that I'm less negative and don't complain as often.

And during my times darkness, my relationship with Him lets my light keep burning. 

I used to be the kind of person who would only call out Jesus' name when I was suffering and when I thought I needed Him.

And yes, during those times of pain and suffering, I cry out to Him.

I ask for His healing hands to take away my pain.

I let myself cry in order for His grace and mercy to heal my brokenness.

But in that darkness, I continue to thank Him for all the good He brings me.

It truly keeps me going and brings me out of that pain and suffering so much faster.
It's helps me stay positive when I see the positives in my life. 

And because He is essential to my every day life, I'm able to share that with those around me, through my actions.

He lights a fire deep within in soul.

His unconditional love brings me a love I never knew I could have for people.

His truth gives me hope.

I pray this Christmas, that you not only let Him be apart of your every day life, but you let Him light a fire within you to burn and share with those in your life.

Let His light shine through the dreary weather,

negative feelings,

and all the horrible things going on in this world.

We can be that light and strengthen to those who are struggling and weak.

As you let your Christmas lights shine tonight, remember He is the light in the darkness.

He is the greatest gift of all.

Today and always.

Merry Christmas!

Oh Come, Oh Come, Emmanuel

One of my favorite Christmas songs.

But that's not the reason I'm writing this post.

The final word in the title of this beautiful song has more significance than I think most realize.

That final word is what we as Christians need to believe in our hearts every single day.

Through our pain and suffering.

Through our praise and thanksgiving.

Emmanuel.

Emmanuel means "God With Us."

You know what that means, right?

We are NEVER alone.

The holidays are a time to be joyful and thankful.  However, in this world, there will always be things that will causes sadness and darkness.

It can be the loss of someone very dear to us.

It could be our own personal struggles within ourselves.

It could be unhappiness in relationships or our careers.

Rejection.

Betrayal.

Broken promises.

No matter what our hurt or sadness is from, God is always with us.

He doesn't promise to take the hurt or pain away, but he promises to always be with us and never leave us.

We have this beautiful opportunity to open our hearts through this suffering and lay it at the feet of Jesus.

He promises to take on our burdens and walk this difficult journey with us.

"And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of His glory in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 4:19

It can be hard to remember His promises when we are in darkness.  As cliche as this might sound, there is always light at the end of this dark tunnel.

His promises are that light.

The truth. 

What are some of his promises?

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 

-2 Corinthians 12:9

"No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind.  And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.  But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can endure it."

-1 Corinthians 10:13

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." -Romans 8:28

Even in our darkness, He fulfills His promises.

In our darkness, He is our light.

Rather than focusing on trying to get away from this suffering, embrace the pain and lean on God.  Lean on those promises.  Through those trials, we become stronger.

"For I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength."

-Philippians 4:13

Jesus experienced betrayal, torture, and darkness.  He experienced the ultimate suffering and pain.

He overcame it.

God has promised us victory over death.

"But thanks be to God!  He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ."
- 1 Corinthians 15:57

Death did NOT win.

The pain and suffering did NOT win.

Jesus gave us HOPE.

Cling to His promises, the truth, and the light.

Our pain and suffering will NOT win.  We will overcome all of it with the hope that has been given to us through Jesus Christ.

God With Us.

Emmanuel.

"And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.  There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."
- Revelation 21:4

  

Make the Choice

"There is not enough room in your mind for both worry and faith.  You must decide which one gets to live there."

Which do you choose?

I know recently I've been more concerned about "what if's" and questioning things in my life, rather than just giving all my worries and concerns to God.

He's in control and often times I find myself still trying to cling to that control, even when I know I shouldn't.

"Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you."

-1 Peter 5:7

If we read further into this chapter in Peter, we see how choosing faith isn't always easy, but it's essential to our lives.

"Be alert and of sober mind.  Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.  Resist him, STANDING FIRM IN FAITH, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings."

-1 Peter 5:8-9

We are all struggling in our journey of faith.

Holidays are hard.

I have found myself in tears most of this weekend so incredibly hurt and angry; even dreading this Christmas.

Every day can be absolutely painful.

Whether we are struggling physically, emotionally, mentally, each day can be a struggle in this broken world.

We have to make the choice on whether we let that worry and sadness take over our lives, or stand firm in our faith and know God has a plan.

A plan that is beyond our imagination.

A plan that God has carefully created for each of us.

A plan that will be revealed when He knows we are ready.

I saw that quote earlier today.  I didn't quite let it sink in right away, as I knew I had to be vulnerable in order to understand it.

As the day progressed, I let myself be vulnerable.

I let myself cry.  I let those tears of sadness, hurt, and anger pour out of me and turn to tears of healing.

I felt the presence of Christ's arms around me and I could feel my shattered world (at least that's what it felt like) start to piece itself back together.

I choose FAITH.

Always.

I know I will stumble and fall at times, but if I allow it, I will let Him pick me right back up.

I choose to keep pushing forward.

I choose to keep looking up.

I choose to NEVER lose FAITH.

What do you choose?

Have a blessed week and may you find peace among the chaos of the holidays.

XOXO

The Heart of Christmas

"Lord our God, with the birth of your Son, your glory breaks on the world. Through the night hours of the darkened earth, we your people watch for the coming of your promised Son. As we wait, give us a foretaste of the joy that you will grant us when the fullness of his glory has filled the earth, who lives and reigns with you for ever and ever. Amen."

This new year is the year of mercy and forgiveness.

As the days led up to this beautiful day in which we celebrate Christ's birth, I tried to grasp the true meaning of Advent.

The word Advent comes from the Latin word "coming."

For many years, Christmas to me was all about presents, cookie making, decorations, and all the worldly things it has become.

During the Advent season, I tried to read a passage from my advent devotional book I picked up from the Basilica in Carey, OH.

Each passage was filled with many reflections on how to strengthen my relationship with my faith and Christ.

Each night, I tried to remember that Advent was intended for the preparation of Christ's arrival, his birth that we celebrate on Christmas Day as well as his second coming.

And I needed to prepare my heart.

I will admit that a lot of those days, my heart was cold. I could barely even think of the true meaning of Advent because my life was so wrapped up with doctor's appointments, stress at work, stress of finding the perfect gifts for everyone, and even stress to make everything look just right for Christmas in my apartment.

Even at the beginning of this week, leading up to Christmas, I could feel myself slipping so far away that I became angry.  My anxiety intensified.  I could feel Satan pulling me so far away from the true meaning of this season.

One night, I finally sat down and realized I was focusing on things that weren't important.  I was allowing all of the negative things in my life take over what I was striving to find this season....

Peace.

Forgiveness.

Mercy.

Love.

Joy.

And in that moment, I felt all of these things I'd been searching for.  I forgave those who have done me wrong.  I asked for forgiveness for all the wrong I had done.  I could feel God's presence within me during this quiet reflection and I felt His mercy and grace.  I felt peace and joy.  I felt His unconditional love.

From that day forward this week, for the first time in 27 years, I finally grasped the true meaning of Christmas.

This season is about sharing laughter and love with those family and friends around you.

This season is about being thankful for all you've been blessed with, big or small.

This season is about forgiveness and mercy.

This season is to recognize the good in people and also the good within yourself.

This season is about our Lord Jesus Christ, who came into this world to teach us all of these things and many more.

I truly believe that the heart of Christmas, taught to us by Christ Himself, is to cherish each moment we have on this earth.  No matter how difficult our journey is, no matter how much we stumbled and fall off that path, no matter how many horrible things we face, we are to cherish each day given to us.  

I pray this Christmas brings all of you so many blessings, love, laughter, and joy that will last throughout the new year...a year of mercy!

Merry Christmas to all of you!

You're here for a reason and a purpose!
Don't let your light burn out.
Inspire those around you.

Be the LIGHT in this DARK WORLD,
and shine the love of Christ from within,
today and always!

-Isaiah 9:6