Finding peace on a bad day

I sit here looking at the amazing view my balcony offers.  I see ducks swimming, I hear birds tweeting their sweet tune, and I also hear the neighbor boy screaming out of his door, with his face pasted against the screen...ha!  And as I lean over my balcony to look at him, I see him smile a smile of satisfaction.  Like it was his goal to get my attention.  At that point, all I could do was smile.

Among all of these joyous sights and sounds, I still feel sad.  I still feel lost.  I still feel anxious.  

Why?

There are so many things in life to be thankful for.  All the rain we got the last several days to help things grow and bloom.  The time I've gotten to spend with my sister this last week.  A much needed week off from work.

But I still feel sad?  Why?

This is the only reasonable solution I could come up with...

A lot of has happened over this last year and I think I try so hard to be strong for so long that eventually my mind, body, and soul need a good cleanse.  Of course everything seems to hit all at once, but maybe this is God's way of saying, "It's okay.  I'm here.  Lean on me.  I'm not going anywhere."

I've been struggling with anxiety really bad lately.  Almost to the point where nothing calms me down.  I used to struggle with this when I was in college and few times when I lived in Texas.  But this seems to hit way too frequently now.

Often times, the only thing that calms me down is writing.  And that's what I do.

I write about my feelings.  I express how being vulnerable is incredibly hard for me.  Doing this seems to always bring my heart rate down and work through whatever caused me to get anxious in the first place.

I've always heard that journaling helps people sort through a lot of things.  This is my form of journaling I feel.

If you're struggling like I am, it's okay.  You're not alone.  Find ways to find peace.  Be thankful for the good things in your life, even though your heart and soul tell you otherwise.  

You'll get through it, just like I have.  Just by writing this particular post, I feel a lot better than what I did.

We all have different ways of coping with things.  This is normally my way.  How do you cope with bad days?

"Trust in the Lord with all heart and lean not on your own understanding." -Proverbs 3:5

Have a blessed and peaceful night.

xoxo