Powerful things happen when you least expect it.
During a medical massage this past Monday, it was brought to my attention that my medical diagnosis on my neck and back was much deeper than just a physical issue.
I've been undergoing numerous medical massages and chiropractor adjustments over the last month to hopefully fix and put my body back to where it should be so the pain I've been in will subside.
After finding out I no longer have the curve in my neck, adjustments and massages are how I've spent most of my last few weeks, while battling endless and horrible pain.
While I've smiled through most of this, I was starting to feel defeated as to why the pain just wasn't stopping.
My adjustments were finally starting to move things back to where they belong, but still no relief.
As I was laying there Monday night, listening to the sounds of chimes coming from the speakers, my massage therapist had me flip over so she could work on my neck.
After a little while, she started working through a very tight muscle and realized once she got past it, there was inflammation around my spine. After reassuring her that my x-rays came back with no signs of a herniated disk, she broke out in tears.
She told me about this vision she had which led her to believe that something deeper was going on than just the physical issue at hand.
She had this vision of a worm inside my neck. It was yellow with fangs. It reminded her of the worm at the bottom of a tequila bottle. She said it had a hold on me and it was toxic. She then named it fear.
The pain is not only my body trying to heal, but also me carrying fear around from my past.
FEAR!!!!
I've overcome a lot, but never would have guessed that I was still carrying this around.
I drove home that night in a complete daze and listened to a song that was needed in that moment.
"Fear is a Liar" by Zach Williams
As my body and soul broke down, I realized my therapist was right. I had to find a way to release this toxic lie within me.
Fear is a LIAR!!!
Fear will not have a hold of me any longer. It doesn't control me. It will not cause me anymore pain.
I am still on the road to recovery and becoming stronger every day.
Physically.
Emotionally. Spiritually. Mentally.
Fear might knock me down, but it sure as hell ain't gonna keep me down!!
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