YOU are Strong!

I've been reflecting a lot over the last couple weeks and this morning as I was drinking coffee, I came across this video on YouTube for a self-help exercise.

Learning self-love and self-acceptance.

The exercise went something like this...

Close your eyes.

Imagine meeting yourself.

The person you are meeting in this moment is when you were at your hardest, darkest time in your life.

When you felt lost and confused.

You felt alone or even shamed.

Keep this person in the same room and now reintroduce her to you as your best self.

The time when you felt most happy in your life, most inspired.

The most proud of who you are.

Introduce these two people and have them hug and have them accept one another.

We are going to have our worst and best times.

The most important thing to remember is this person is the same through it all.

You are meeting that woman you wanted to be or needed in that dark hard time.

The good news is that's who you are and you've always had that inside of you.

You are that strong woman.

This made me think back to when I was the strongest I've ever been in my life.  Which was 8.5 years ago.

This is the when I was my strongest.  I had a strong faith in God.  I had just come out of one of my darkest places, but found that I was stronger than I thought.

Over the last couple months, I have felt defeated.

Beat down.

Destroyed.

Scared.

  Unsure of who I am anymore.

Unworthy.

Weak.

Alone.
Confused.
Depressed.
Full of Shame and Guilt.

Trying my hardest not to show how horrible I felt about myself in front of my family.

Putting on the best smile I could do at that moment.

As I did this self-help exercise, I let the woman in the very first picture meet the woman in all of these other pictures.  

I let them hug.

Through that vulnerable moment, I let the strongest version of myself begin to bring healing to the weakest version.

I felt myself getting stronger.

I started to feel that I was loved again.

I began to accept that I was worthy. 

No matter what you face in life, always remember that YOU were strong once.  YOU are still strong now.  

YOU will get through this.

A Poem of Healing...

Yesterday, I cried...

I came home, went straight to my room, sat on the edge of my bed, kicked off my shoes, unhooked my bra, and I had myself a good cry.

I’m telling you, I cried until my nose was running all over the silk blouse I got on sale. I cried until my ears were hot. I cried until my head was hurting so bad that I could hardly see the pile of soiled tissues lying on the floor at my feet.

I want you to understand, I had myself a really good cry yesterday.

Yesterday, I cried, for all the days that I was too busy, or too tired, or too mad to cry.

I cried for all the days, and all the ways, and all the times I had dishonored, disrespected, and disconnected my Self from myself, only to have it reflected back to me in the ways others did to me the same things I had already done to myself.

I cried for all the things I had given, only to have them stolen; for all the things I had asked for that had yet to show up; for all the things I had accomplished, only to give them away, to people in circumstances, which left me feeling empty, and battered and plain old used.

I cried because there really does come a time when the only thing left for you to do is cry.

Yesterday, I cried. I cried because little boys get left by their daddies; and little girls get forgotten by their mommies; and daddies don’t know what to do, so they leave; and mommies get left, so they get mad.

I cried because I had a little boy, and because I was a little girl, and because I was a mommy who didn’t know what to do, and because I wanted my daddy to be there for me so badly until I ached.

Yesterday, I cried. I cried because I hurt. I cried because I was hurt. I cried because hurt has no place to go except deeper into the pain that caused it in the first place, and when it gets there, the hurt wakes you up.

I cried because it was too late. I cried because it was time.

I cried because my soul knew that I didn’t know that my soul knew everything I needed to know.

I cried a soulful cry yesterday, and it felt so good.

It felt so very, very bad.

In the midst of my crying, I felt my freedom coming, Because Yesterday, I cried with an agenda.

-Iyanla Vanzant

Shaping the Path to a New Life

CHANGE.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who cringes when they hear that word.

Change is hard.

Change is uncomfortable.

Change is overwhelming.

Change is stressful.

CHANGE.

Even though there seems to be a lot of negativity with just the word change, we have to remember why change is essential to our lives.

Change is necessary for growth.

Whatever makes you uncomfortable is your BIGGEST opportunity for the growth.

With that being said, I wanted to share to a short story about how difficult change can be, but how it can give us a hope for a better future.

My dog, Spike.

She was our neighbor's dog for the first several years of her life and spent majority of her time outside in all weather conditions.  Eventually, we took her in and her life changed.

She got to come into a warm house with people who loved her.

I formed a bond with her that no one else will have all because of that change.

We changed her life.

Change helped her grow into a very loving animal and she was always so full of spunk and energy.

GROWTH.

The sad news is, life can have unexpected events happen and change will have to happen yet again.

Due to horrible freak accident about 7 years ago, we were told my dog would be paralyzed.  Not only were we determined, but Spike was determined not to let that become her life.

She has always been a very strong-willed dog.  No one was going to get in her way of thinking like that either.

She was never completely paralyzed, but she had to make major adjustments to how she lived her life from that point forward.

CHANGE.

She has lived a very fulfilling life, even with the challenges she has faced since her accident.

She CHANGED her spunky walk to a spunky limp.
She CHANGED her four-legged run around the yard to a three-legged fast hop around the yard.
She even CHANGED her attitude and became one of the most lovable and happiest dogs I've ever loved.

Her body is getting old and tired now.

She spends most of her time falling than she does standing.

She gets incredibly frustrated when someone tries to help her up.

She is not okay with her body doing this.

She is once again having to adjust to change and learn its importance.

Change.

Seeing her in this state breaks my heart more than one could ever imagine.

However, I've changed that mindset after a dream I had last night about her.

Change.

As I look at the world through my dog's eyes, I can see how hard change really is, but how determined she is to make the best of change.

It has not been easy for her, but she is determined to keep accepting these opportunities to grow.

Her frustration when someone tries to help her up is her determination to keep changing and pushing on until God tells her it's her time.

Change. 

This story may seem very irrelevant to this topic, but I don't see it that way at all.

Change is all the things I listed at the very beginning of this.

It's hard to let go of something you're used to and refocus on something new and unfamiliar.

Often times, people want to focus on what they have to let go of, rather than look forward to what they gain once they allow change to happen.

Change leads to a hopeful future.
Change leads to trusting in God and His amazing plans for us.  

We must keep this in mind when we face any type of change to trust that He will take care of us.  He is giving us this new opportunity to make our lives better.

Make our lives into what He wants for us.
Guide us to happiness, love, success, and trustworthiness.

Life is impossible without change.
Growth becomes optional.

Life becomes lifeless.

Change can lead to amazing things and bring so much joy to one's life.

Promotions.

Successful Relationships.

Healthy Habits.

Strength within yourself.

Renewed Faith.

God can restore what is broken and change it into something amazing.  All you need is faith.
(Joel 2:25)

If my dog can do it, anyone can!

AMEN.

Rediscovering God's Blessings

God's blessings are all around us.

They are hard to see at times, especially when life's stresses take over every part of your being, causing you to be foggy-minded, unable to focus on what's important, completely exhausted mentally, emotionally, and physically...

Just completely shut off to everything.

I know this because that was me this morning.

I woke up more exhausted than I have ever been.

I was so emotionally drained from all the stress in my life lately that I couldn't even cry to get rid of the dullness in my heart.

I was on autopilot all morning, going through the motions to maintain life's needs.

Cleaning, laundry, taking care of myself...

I finally had a quick moment to come outside with my coffee and just be quiet.

As I sat here, I watched all of the things around me, trying to find peace.

Still feeling rather dull, I pulled out my phone to start playing my Christian playlist on Spotify in hopes to find that peace.

Find happiness.

Find God.

The moment I started playing music I heard this humming sound above my head.

As I glanced up, there was a light metallic green hummingbird within inches of my face just staring at me, getting closer with each second.

It startled me at first and I jumped back.

The hummingbird didn't even flinch.  It just kept moving closer to my face.

I felt as if it was telling me,

"It's okay.  Do not fear.  I will not harm you."

 I heard God speaking to me as the hummingbird continued to hang out around my face for what felt like forever.

I started talking to this precious gift from God and it cocked its head as if it actually understood what I was saying.

It began to fly away, but then turned around and came back and did it again.  

It finally landed on the hummingbird feeder, drank for a while, and then came back one last time before flying off.

It is now sitting in a tree across my balcony just making some of the sweetest sounds.

I knew in that moment that God sent that little hummingbird to me to remind me that no matter how much life seems to take from you, God is always here at your side waiting for you to lean on Him.

Waiting for you to see Him in everything.

To thank Him.

Praise Him through life's struggles and storms.

Blessing you with more than you can imagine.

As that hummingbird sat looking at my face, I became more attentive to God and knew He was speaking to me.

He doesn't just speak to us through prayer.

He speaks to us through so many different things and I got to experience that first-hand this morning.

It was a reminder that I need to seek Him in all things throughout each day.

Set my mind to find Him in everything.

When we do this, we discover how vibrant this world really is and all those stresses seem to disappear or become so small that we can barely see them.

We can find God through things like that hummingbird and we can also find him through all the trials we face too.

Let us always search for Him and His messages as we go through this day and every day.

We will be able to handle life in a more peaceful way if we always search for Him and His blessings.

Thank you little hummingbird for being such a beautiful reminder!

Thank you Father for sending me such a wonderful blessing and restoring my hope in You.

Amen.  

"And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them." Romans 8:28

Up or Down??

Earlier today, some things were said to me that left me driving home with a very heavy heart.

I had some uplifting music on and my windows rolled down in hopes that it would heal my soul.

But no relief came.

I'm an emotional eater and rather than taking care of myself tonight, I grabbed some food on the way home and started to stuff my face with unhealthiness.

My bitterness grew stronger.

My heart became even heavier.

I decided to turn off the movie I had started watching and began to browse YouTube.  I came across a beautiful version of "Hallelujah," which is one of my favorite songs.

It was an instrumental version, done by piano and a violin.  I then proceed to listen to other artists sing this song and came across the Canadian Tenors and Celine Dion's version.

As I was listening to not only the lyrics, but the harmony in the song, I started to feel my heart fall apart.

Tears filled my eyes and I knew what I needed in that moment.

I was then reminded of scripture I've study more than once in the last several months.

"Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth." -Colossians 3:2   

I remembered a song by Across The Sky called "Broken World."

We live in a broken world where promises are shattered, answers don't come when we want or need them...

Sometimes plans come undone, dreams get crushed, and lies get told...

Words can turn cruel and hearts can grow cold...

But through it all, Jesus is our strength and our refuge.  

If we choose too, we will hold onto Him through this trying times.

As I was studying this particular scripture and remembering the powerful lyrics to this song, I started to feel my heart slowly piece itself back together.

How we set our minds, will determine the outcome of our thoughts and emotions....Will give our words and actions power.

Tonight, I was allowing my thoughts and emotions to dwell on the negativity from my earlier conversation.

I kept getting this vision in my head of how I should be on my knees right now, begging God to help me and change what was on my heart.

I chose not to for a while.

In this scripture, Paul encourages us to set our minds on things above, which in turn gives us joy, hope, patience, and kindness.

All positive thoughts.

Our journey in faith often times is the battle of the mind.  We typically allow the matters of life control our minds.

I wanted to let myself curl up in a ball, go to my dark place, and let this awful food cure this pain within me.

But before I allowed myself to get too far, I looked up.

I chose to ask God to guide me to the light, to give me hope and strength through this time in my life.

To forgive those who are judging me in this moment.

I want to enjoy God's grace and peace, even when my heart is heavy.

I did not bear the cross that Christ did, nor will I ever feel the pain and agony that He did.

We are not guaranteed a perfect life.  We will face many hardships.

As this holy week approaches and one of the most wonderful days of celebrations draws near, we must remember that Christ died for our sins, but rose again on the third day and sits at the right Hand of Our Father.  Because of this...we are reminded of His promise to us of a beautiful life with Him, even if our life here on earth is tough.

I choose Him.

I will fight to remain positive and flee from negativity.

God is truly amazing and is blessing me with all of this. 

What do you choose?

"Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think.  Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect." -Romans 12:2

He Ain't the Leavin' Kind

I was listening to Rascal Flatts earlier (anyone one who truly knows me will not be surprised by this AT ALL as I have been on a Rascal Flatts binge lately), and a song started playing that I hadn't heard by them.

"He Ain't the Leavin' Kind."

I just thought it was a romantic song like most of their songs are.

It WAS indeed a a romantic song....

For God.

"He ain't the leavin' kind,

He'd never walk away.

Even from those who don't believe,

And wanna leave him behind,

He ain't the leavin' kind."

The bridge of the song is even more powerful:

"No matter what you do,

No matter where you go, 

He's always right there with you."

God is with us every moment of every day.

We show our faith in Him by giving Him our trust.

I read a devotional today in a book called "Jesus Calling" that talked about trust.

"I'm taking care of you.  Trust Me at all times.  Trust Me in all circumstances.  Trust Me with all your heart.  When you are weary and everything seems to be going wrong, you can still utter these four words: "I trust You, Jesus."  By doing so, you release matters into My control, and you fall back into the security of My everlasting arms.  Before you arise from your bed in the morning, I have already arranged the events of your day.  Every day provides many opportunities for you to learn My ways and grow closer to Me.  Signs of My Presence brighten even the dullest day when you have eyes that really see.  Search for Me as for hidden treasure.  I will be found by you."

He ain't the leavin' kind.

God is still with me through all the darkness and pain that I've experienced, especially recently.

Even if you don't believe it at this moment, He is there.

Whatever weighs on you tonight, I hope you find peace knowing that He ain't the leavin' kind and He is always by your side.  

You may have a lot of people you can't trust in your life right now.

Try to remember that you have at least 1 person that will never take that trust or you for granted.

He loves us unconditionally.

He ain't going anywhere!

It doesn't matter how far off track you get, or what you've done...

He is always waiting for you, with open arms, ready to help you overcome all obstacles in your life.

All Praise to God!

"So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the LORD your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you." - Deuteronomy 31:6

When there is nothing left to say...

Today I wasn't my best version and I'll be the first to admit that.

On top of not feeling well, I let worry take over and my emotions spun out of control.

I'm completely drained.

But I still have something burning inside of me...

my passion for God.

As I lay here pretty drugged up hoping that rest will be the cure for not only my physical sickness, but also my emotional and spiritual well-being....

I'm left with silence.

But a silence filled with peace.

God is in control and when you get to a point where you have nothing left, whether you have nothing left to say or nothing left to give....

Just say Jesus.

Cuz He is what matters.

He will always rescue you.

You got this.

Hold firm to your passion for God.

Whatever you are going through, know that what is to come is the best thing yet!

Amen and all praise to God.

Goodnight.

I Won't Give Up

"I will be by your side

If you ever fall deep in the dead of the night

Whenever you call

And I won't change my mind

No, I'll see you through

And I won't give up

No, I won't give up

I won't give up on you."

This is the chorus of a song that has a lot of meaning to me.  Not only from a romantic stand point, but also on a faith-based side too.

Lately I've been able to turn romantic songs into a song that describes my relationship with Christ.

Take this chorus for example...

God will be by my side, even if I fall in the dead of the night....Whenever I call, He will never change His mind and will always see me through...He will not give up on me.

If God's love is so strong and unconditional, and we have this intimate and trusting relationship with Him, can't we give the same kind of love and trust to someone in our lives?

For years, I always wanted an intimate relationship with Christ, but never knew how to get there.  During that time, I did not have the capacity to love someone unconditionally.  I didn't know how to trust someone fully.  I certainly tried, but I always found myself doubting, living in fear, and never satisfied.

Why??

Because I couldn't give someone something I didn't have myself.

But God healed my heart, and I no longer walk around in search for attention.

I no longer live in doubt and fear.

I've learned true acceptance and trust, not only with myself, but with God and others as well. 

God's love has never failed me and I know my love will not fail either.

Not with God.

Not with the man God has made for me.

Not with those important in my life.

I will not give up on YOU.

Will you give up?

God will not give up on you.

Keep pushing through and let Him bless you with a love that is indescribable.

A love that will last a lifetime.

I Can't Get No... Satisfaction!

Or can you?

My last blog post was about things that mattered.

I've come to learn the importance of needing God every day, every minute, every second.  There are so many things that are thrown your way each day and sometimes it can get so overwhelming that your body, mind, and soul shut down.

That's when things become dark.

Anger fills your soul and heart.

Negative thinking and complaining fill your mind.

Your body becomes tense and sometimes it'll even shake due to the anger your soul is being filled with.

Stop in that moment and remember what matters.

Look up!

HE is what matters.

HE is where you'll find your satisfaction.

"Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything.  Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done.  Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand.  His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 4:6-7

God is shaping your life, especially during these bumps in the journey.  He uses these tough times to guide us to what we need to live a fulfilling life.

Tribulation tests our identity as Christians.

Matthew 13:1-23 is a perfect parable that Jesus uses to prove how trials can test us as Christians and Jesus explains how and why he uses parables to teach us lessons.  

Tribulation tests our faith.

"These trials will show that your faith is genuine.  It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold - though your faith is far more precious than mere gold.  So when your faith remains STRONG through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world." - 1 Peter 1:7

Tribulation tests our sense of purpose.

"....when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy.  For you know that when you faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.  So let it grow, for when you endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing." - James 1:2-4

Tribulation tests our obedience.

"I wrote to you as I did to test you and see if you would fully comply with my instructions." - 2 Corinthians 2:9

Through tribulation, we learn to rely on God.

"We think you ought to know, dear brothers and sisters, about the trouble we went through in the province of Asia.  We were crushed beyond our ability to endure, and we thought we would never live through it.  In fact, we expected to die.  But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely on God, who raises the dead.  And we did rescue us from mortal danger, and he will rescue us again.  We have placed our confidence in him, and he will continue to rescue us.  And you are helping us by praying for us.  Then many people will give thanks because God has graciously answered so many prayers for our safety." 2 Corinthians 1:8-11

God's got your back.  

The chorus in this song is pretty powerful.

"Hold on" - KJ-52

Jonah

Hold on, you got this.

Don't throw it away.

Learn to forgive but don't forget.

Even when it feels like the worst.

Hold on, you got this.

Don't throw it away.

Make more memories than regrets.

If nothing else, just live and learn.

Hold on to His truth.  He will give you strength when you are weak.  Every enemy will flee when He is present in your life.  Just hold on tightly to your faith.  Know that God is shaping you into something extraordinary during these times.

You got this.

Does It Really Matter?!

This world often encourages us to put our own prosperity above God's House.

Think about it...

Those who are Christian's at some point made a commitment to Christ.  

We all were on fire at this time in our lives....

Reading the Bible daily, going to bible studies, getting involved in the church.

Nothing was more important than Jesus.

Slowly our lives began to take over.

Our jobs, bills that needed to be paid, family that needed to be taken care of, sleep!!

Slowly we stopped putting God first and our lives began to fall deeper into a slump.

Here is the part that makes it worse...

We began to justify it and make excuses!!

So all these worldly things became more important.

That's when everything seems to fall apart.  

Our mentality at work goes from positive to negative thoughts every single hour each day.

Our actions and words that were once kind towards family become aggressive and impatient.

Driving to work, we get cut off or bullied.

Relationships start to have more tension.

Our God is an understanding God.

But these things are happening because He is causing them too.  He is making it known that HE is in control and that our priorities aren't right.

Just like in the book of Haggai:

"You hoped for rich harvests, but they were poor.  And when you brought your harvest home, I blew it away.  Why?  Because my house lies in ruins, says the Lord of Heaven's Armies, while all of you are busy building your own fine houses." Haggai 1:9

In the new testament in the book of John, it is reiterated:

"Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you.  For on him God the Father has placed his seal of approval." John 6:27

Below are questions that will give you a reality check:

How are you spending your time?

How are your spending your money, which indeed is God's money?

What do you think about most?

"If God is for us, then who can be against us?" - Romans 8:13

What matters in your life today?

Do you work against God and lose your spiritual light to your path?

Or is it your goal to put Him first always and receive His many blessings and promises?

Remember what truly matters.

When life gets tough, we must remember that He has never left us.  He is always here to help us carry the crosses we bear.  

HE matters.

Every day.

Amen.

I Am NOT A Victim

Life is tough.

Emotions are real.

Pain is present in this broken world.

How we handle and react to all of these tough moments is how we will view every day life.

I've always been one to see the positive or try to see the positive each day.

I've recently been taught how to be vulnerable in a whole new way.

I get daily devotionals from my mom during the week, and each one seems to be perfect for the day ahead.

Reading these devotionals and reading scripture can be enlightening and powerful.  However, at the beginning of this week, I was taught to turn those devotionals into a personal prayer and to say it out loud over and over until it was imprinted in my heart.  Until I truly believed it.

Saying it out loud, knowing God not only hears you, but is guiding you to His healing grace.

Yesterday's devotional was:

Here is the prayer I created from this devotional:

"I have come through very difficult times in many ways, but I see there are lessons you've taught me, Lord.  You have given me opportunities to overcome adversity.  I am NOT a victim of life's circumstances.  I have the strength to make changes and establish myself in a new position.  Amen."

I was having a really tough day yesterday.  During a mental break at work, I wrote this and kept repeating it until my heart started to feel the strength behind it.  It became real to me.

God is real.  His love is real.  His strength is real.

You are not a victim.

Today will only be difficult if you allow it to take over your life.

Make that change.  Be strong and confident in yourself that God is guiding you always.

"Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience." - Colossians 3:12

Do you Trust Him?

"Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you.  Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light." -Matthew 11:28-30

Life can be so incredibly difficult at times.  It can feel like there is no reason we should push forward and keep traveling the path ahead.

Come, is such a powerful word in this scripture as it's Jesus' invitation to follow Him.  Give ourselves completely to Him.

By giving ourselves completely to Him, we are giving him all that is weighing us down.  We are reminded that WE ARE NOT IN CONTROL.  We are learning from God.  We learn that He is in control and He teaches us through these trials to remember that He will never leave us.  These trials are placed in our lives so we can become humble and gentle children of God.

When life gets hard and the long road ahead gets tough to travel, we must remember God is by our side always, pulling the weight for us.  The only time the load becomes overbearing is when we try to handle it all ourselves.  However, God will not abandon us.

 His yoke is easy to bear....

Humbleness and Gentleness

We find our strength through Jesus.  With this strength, we fight off the enemy that brings doubt, fear, and worry into our lives.  The more we submit to God, the stronger we become.

Those doubts and worries become joys and praises.

We begin to see the good in everything.

We feel peace.

We see why we are placed in these situations.  We see that we need Jesus.

Whatever is weighing on your tonight and it feels like it's too much to bear alone....

Remember that we are not alone.

He wants to us to lean on Him and learn from Him.

Below is a prayer a friend of mine wrote from a devotional we read.

This prayer will help you see that God wants us to submit to Him completely.

"I declare that I am able to rise up in Spirit, and defeat whatever has established itself against me.  Remove from myself every hindrance and be free.  Receive the Holy Spirit and be well.  Again, I say let every enemy that has established itself against me be rebuked, and thus removed.  By the authority given to me by my Lord Jesus Christ.  Amen."

You are strong.  

You are worthy.  

You are one with Christ.  

Keep moving forward confidently, knowing that no matter what, God's got your back!

Be grateful for all these troubles and trials.  They are strengthening you as you continue your journey.

It will bring your hope.

"And this hope will not lead to disappointment.  For we know how dearly God loves us, because He has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with His love." - Romans 5:5

Remain patient.  Remain confident.

"So do not throw away this confident trust in the Lord.....

....Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God's will.  

Then you will receive all that He has promised." -Hebrews 10:35-36